- tharzill likes this
To the citizens of the United States of America
In light of your failure to financially manage yourselves and inability to effectively govern yourselves responsibly, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and territories (with the exception of Texas which is beyond hope).
Your new Prime Minister, David William Donald Cameron will appoint a governor for the former United States of America without the need for future elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine if anyone even noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependancy, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect.
1. You will learn that the suffix BURGH is pronounced "burra". You can spell Pittsburgh as Pittsberg from now on if you can't cope with simple pronunciation. Then look up aluminium and check the pronunciation - you will be amazed at just how wrong you've been pronouncing it.
2. The letter "U" will be reinstated in words such as "colour", "favour" and "neighbour". Likewise, you will learn how to spell doughnut without dropping half of the letters.
3. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up vocabulary). Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
4. There is no such thing as "US English". Microsoft will be contacted and the spell checker will be adjusted to take into account the reintroduced letter "U"
5. You will learn your reintroduced National Anthem "God Save The Queen" & July 4th will no longer be a public holiday.
6. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not ready to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults and then used solely for hunting grouse. If you're not adult to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're certainly not ready to handle a gun, let alone shoot grouse.
Therefore, you will be no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required should you wish to carry this in public.
All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand.
All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts and you will start to drive on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will allow you to understand the British sense of humour.
The former United States of America will adopt the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland prices on petrol (which you have, to date, been calling gasoline) of roughly $10 / gallon. Get used to it.
You will learn how to make real chips. Those things you call French Fries are not real chips and those things you insist on calling potato chips are correctly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat and dressed with malt vinegar.
Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive and rude with customers.
The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer. Henceforth only proper "English Bitter" will be referred to as beer and European beers of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as lager. New Zealand and Australian beer is also acceptable. American "beers" will henceforth be known as "Near Frozen Gnats Urine"
Hollywood will be required to occasionally cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialog in Four Weddings was bad, but Dick Van Dyke in "Mary Poppins" was akin to having ones ears removed with a cheese grater.
You will cease playing "American Football". There are only 2 kinds of proper football. One you call soccer and one you call rugby. Those of you who are brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has SOME similarities to American Football but does not involve stopping for a rest every 20 seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies)
Further, you will stop playing baseball. It's not reasonable to host an event called "The World Series" for a game which is not played outside the USA. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will all learn cricket in it's place.
You must tell us who killed JFK - it's been driving us nuts.
An Inland Revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesties Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.
Daily Tea Time begins at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, with high qualities biscuits (no longer called cookies) and cakes plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
Thank you for your co-operation.
God Save The Queen
Posted by Pardoux on 30 June 2013 - 22:45
An interesting thought for relics would / could be :-
(forgive how basic this is, it's just come to me so hasn't been refined in any way)
Guilds are all given an "average" level (includes retired / inactive players) - so, 100 players, 50 of L500 and 50 of L1K, the "average level" would be L750.
Relics are all given a "Map Level +100" flag. Let's assume we're talking about "The Blue Chasm" here. It's on a Level 1 map. That gives it a "flag" of 101. This would mean that guilds with an average player level of 101 or above can't capture this relic.
Working with "Castle of the Sorceress". It's on a Level 508 map - therefore, it's "flag" is 608. Guilds with an average player level of 608 or higher can't capture the relic.
The numbers can be worked on, as can the determining factors for the guild "flag", but personally, I think this is an interesting mix-up for relics and helps spread them out a bit more too.
Posted by Pardoux on 21 June 2013 - 05:14
By disagreeing with this post, you are basically saying that the new players should have it as hard as we used to and should have to donate which in my opinion is more "greedy" then this change. Activity is what makes this game work. I won't disagree that money helps, but the Cows have other forms of income.
Excuse me ? - newer players aren't gaining anything by your suggestion - well, players of under 2 years at least.
YOUR suggestion was :-
5 tokens / day for up to 2 years playing
10 tokens / day between 2 yrs and 3 yrs
15 tokens / day between 3 yrs and 4 yrs
20 tokens / day between 4 yrs and 5 yrs
25 tokens / day for over 5 years playing.
Now, where in that suggestion is ANYTHING about making it easier for new players ??
Also, please stop trying to make me out to be the "big bad" here - the grinch that stole xmas as it were. You know, I know and pretty much every player knows that the potions achieved through loyalty are NOT essential for levelling and thus no-one is trying to force anyone to donate - they are simply a SLIGHT reward for doing so.
High level and/or high stamina non-donating players have been after access to the Doubler 1200 potion and the Light Foot 1250 potions for ... well, since they came out. What this thread is about, IMO, is making the game easier for THEM, not for new players. But thanks for making me point that out
And, of course the donations arent the cows only income stream, but I'd be willing to be that it's their MAIN income stream - and that without it, the game would have gone the way of SigmaStorm 2 a long time ago.
So, yes, I stand by my post ...
Posted by Pardoux on 21 June 2013 - 03:19
I'm gonna call this as I see it ... GREED.
The cows don't have to give us ANY allegiance tokens on a daily basis. They were, after all, brought in to reward donations and allowed those who financially supported the game get a few potions that were slightly better than otherwise available. So, for non-donating players to get any at all is good, is it not ?
(for the record, I have my ruby loyalty and would benefit from this suggestion)
For too long, those that don't donate have wanted easy (easier) access to the potions (mainly LightFoot) that the donors have access to.
In my opinion, if they want them - either donate or wait until they've accrued enough tokens to "buy one". Without the donators, there is no game after all.
Hopefully this will get a resounding NO from the cows...
Posted by Pardoux on 19 June 2013 - 08:01
maybe try getting invited into their guild, gaining their trust, and steal it?
then - do as much damage as possible when they're offline - destroy all their structures, leave the guild and declare semper fi in the FSBox
*chuckles* - that's prolly the only way
Posted by Pardoux on 18 June 2013 - 20:37
so one of my higher ranking guild members gave me permissions to add permissions but im not sure how any help???
With all due respect, if you don't know how to do them, or what they do (?) - then your founder shouldn't have given them to you.
At the very least, he should have explained them all beforehand - with a few "don't give this", "don't give that" warnings
Posted by Pardoux on 17 June 2013 - 01:16
Ok this isn't a complaint on the event, I love these things. However I have missed the last few due ot the timing. I live on the west coast of the US and feel we get the short end of the stick somewhat when it comes to these events. They start in the morning on Friday and end in the morning on Sunday. When you factor it in only half of the 48 hours are actually available for us to hunt (8hr Friday for work, 8hrs sleep friday/saturday night) versus 32 for Europe, etc.
I have to agree with BabyMad I'm afraid ...
48 hrs with 1 weeks notice. If you can't factor that in somehow then it's not the cows fault
I'm in the same boat as you, albeit at the opposite end of the timescale - the 2x event started at 2am Eastern Australia Time Saturday morning and ended 2am Monday morning, but I managed to easily find time to accomodate it - and that's with factors like sleep and socialising and doing other non-game stuff.
It's just a case of prioritising
Posted by Pardoux on 16 June 2013 - 00:18
s'funny tho .. Drop rates are too low - the cows get it in the neck. Drop rates are too high - the cows get it in the neck.
Just for once, I'd like to see the whole player base actually being appreciative to the cows
Posted by Pardoux on 13 June 2013 - 21:04
No to either of those ...
In fact, no to ALL Legendaries - get 'em back in the realms, where they belong ..
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