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[OnionGroove]

I wake to find Eglayne sitting beside me on the small bed, holding my hand. "How are you, little Queen?" I shake my head slightly and tell her that I am a little woozy, a little disoriented, and she tells me the sensation will pass. "You're still adjusting, dear," she says, and before I can ask her anything, she says, "renewing your bond with your Beloved in this world and in this place has given you both an advantage. While you sleep, your healing energy helps him replentish himself, and the sooner that happens, the sooner he will be free of the Healing Fire. Communication between the two of you will be easier now, and will become even more effortless with the passage of time. But more, little Queen, if you close your eyes and relax, I think you will discover a most welcome gift." I do as she says and I can feel.....a feather-light touch on my arm, the faintest hint of breath on my shoulder, and I know...."Oh, my.....I feel him! I feel my Beloved!" I am overjoyed, and Eglayne asks me where my King is. "He's laying beside me. I feel his presence beside me....." She smiles radiently and says, "you see, Orgarune, I told you. You are a Child of the Dowager, for this is her Blessing." She rises to leave but I ask her, "Eglayne, is there anything else I can do to help him heal?" She smiles and tells me I've already done what he needed me to do, then bows slightly and leaves us in peace.

"Sol," I whisper, and I feel him stir against me. "Beloved," I hear him in my mind, "I am sorry about Solvang.....I had so wanted to be healed by now, so that I could extend his life....." I tell him things worked out this way for a reason, but that I am grateful that he gave me such a companion as Solvang; he gave me the comfort I so dearly needed. In my mind's eye I can see Sol beside me, smiling softly, and carefuly I try to touch him. My fingertips tingle and I giggle, and I catch a glimpse of his handsome face. "Ogee," his voice is like a whisper of wind through new leaves, "about the Knight's ring.....I think you are right. It is mine, somehow, but if you're thinking what I think you are, my Beloved, I do not believe it's possible. Queen Isuelt bore me no children." Sighing deeply I rise and lift Solvang's pack onto the bed where I was laying, and carefully pull out the bundle of Sir Gwythen's remains. I unwrap them gently and tell Sol, "this is what Solvang and I found, in the sand near the small cave we sheltered in on our way here. It may be easier for you to learn from the remains as you are now." As I watch, there is the slightest hint of movement among the few bones and fragments, and I turn to go. "I will leave you in peace, my love. Take all the time you need."

I walk out to the fountain chamber, letting the cool Sacred Water bathe my feet as I go. My heart should be light, now that my Beloved is with me, at least in part, and yet, it is weighed down. I am not here by choice, but by apparent Design. But whose design is it? I seem almost always at someone's mercy.....I was born to serve a purpose, and yet, I was conceived in love. What was it Lakhesis told me? That Fate uses what It will to achieve Its goals? Something like that, anyway. I am so tired of prophesies and intentions, mercies and designs, puzzles and mysteries. Even Gothador is full of intrigue; sometimes I just want to hide. But sooner or later I'd be found again by someone in need and then I'd be entwined in another 'adventure' or something. "Is is so terrible to be needed?" One of the male Temple attendants asks me, then bows respectfully. "How do you know my thoughts?" He smiles at my question and looks up to the ceiling, then all around the fountain chamber. "Lady, this is an ancient, magick place, and you have reawakened the magick yourself. You gave of your Sacred Water to restore it, so you are now a part of this place."

I hadn't considered that, and I tell him so, which draws from him a wide, pleasant grin. "Lady, you have yet to venture out of the Temple since you attended to Fatou. You have yet to see what changes you have set in motion." As he leads me to the grand archway where I was received, he tells me that this world is eager for Rebirth, and some changes are happening quickly. I emerge from the Temple totally unprepared for the sight that greets me. Where once there was parched, sunbaked sand, is water. A beautiful, sparkling lake has risen up and the Temple is almost surrounded by it. "Once," he says, "the Temple was on an island, but that was a very long time ago." There is water as far as I can see, in nearly every direction, and in the distance I can see boats. "Are.....are there fish, already?" My voice is hushed when I ask, and the attendant moves over to where I stand. "Those boats you see there are stirring the ground, so that any fish eggs that have lain dormant in the layers of sand may receive the Life-giving fluid. And deeper still are creatures, fish and the like, who cocooned themselves deep underground when the old sea died." I turn and look into his green eyes, and can not help but be lifted by the joy there. "A sea? This was a sea?" He nods and grips my shoulder. "Oh yes, Lady. From Time Immemorial this was a sea, and upon this sea thousands of lives depended. There were more cities and towns nourished by this sea than I can recount, and everyone dwelleth in peace." He releases me and sits down on the steps beside me. "Someday, Lady, because of you, this shall be a nourishing sea again."

Something inside me feels.....right, somehow, and I realize my perspective has suddenly changed. What would I choose to do, had I been given the choice? Would I have let this world, and the good Beings in it, die or would I try to help it, and them? I have thought over and over again that I was brought here for something important, and this must be the thing. But if I had been asked, the only answer I could have given, the only answer I can give, is.....yes. If I have the power to save, or even merely comfort, another Being and I withhold it, what an evil thing would I then be? I move down to where the water meets the Temple steps and scoop up a handfull, bring it to my lips and breathe in its sweetness. I drink it and am filled with its refreshing magick, and I wonder what future this water makes possible. I have the impression of great trees lining her banks, trees bearing fruit that could build strong hearts and bones, and herbs with great healing powers. Fish in her depths that could feed cities, fish that could sustain ports.....ports like Whitestone.....ah, why now? Why now does the memory of my home pain me so? Whitestone, where I first met my little chocolate brown cousin, my little Pyewakket.....

"Where have the cats gone, friend?" He sighs deeply and shakes his head slightly. "Lady, they vanished when the Dragons vanished. I know not their destination. I know only that many of them were felled by the Devourers, when they came and defiled this place." My breath hitches in my chest because I know the valor of those great Beings; the Guardians of this place fought hard to protect it, I'm sure. The battle must have been horrible. I will think no more of it, at least not at this moment, for this is too good of a thing to spoil it with such darkness. I stoop down to the shallow lake and caress her surface with my open palm, whispering, "the Crystal Sea shall ye be, may ye give life and joy to many." I feel another attendant behind us and smile at her remark. "A Blessing from the little Queen," I straighten and turn to face her, surprised to see it's actually one of the older Priestesses. There's an almost impish smile touching her graceful features and I know she expects me to protest. "What," she teases, "you finally accept it?" I shrug and stiffle a giggle, then take her hand as she offers it. I thank the young man and tell him that it's not so terrible to be needed, then the Priestess and I go back into the Temple.

"Such a contradiction," she says, and I give her a questioning look. "So young and tender, yet within you there is a wisdom beyond your years. You carry within you so much power and potential, and yet, you are still so unsure of yourself." I fidget a little, a bit embarrassed, but the welcome sound of Sol's wispy voice washes it away. "That has always been part of her charm," he says, and she nods. "Well then," she says softly, "I shall let you two be, but there is food for the little Queen in the feasting chamber." I walk to the fountain and I can feel my Beloved beside me. I watch the flowers in the garden dance in the gentle breeze, and I ask Sol what is troubling him. "Later, my sweet, later. Let us just be here and be happy for a little while."

[OnionGroove]

We let time flow passed us for a while, then make our way to the feasting chamber in silence, and I know Sol carries much on his shoulders. I would ask him again what he discovered, but I know he will tell me when he's ready. The feasting chamber is filled with Temple folk, and there are plates of food before all assembled; they've been waiting patiently for us and I feel bad for keeping them waiting. There's even a place set for my Beloved, though they must know he can not eat their offering, but it is a wonderful gesture all the same. As we take our seats, the Priestesses speak Graces for the nourishment, when they finish we begin our meal, and I know this gathering is for my departure. I ask after Saysha and Eglayne tells me that she is in seclusion, for Fatou was her companion for more than a century, and her heart is very heavy. But she left some things for me, Eglayne says, things I will need on my journey, and I wonder how I will proceed, now that the desert is a lake. There is light-hearted laughter to my right, and I see it is the young man who I was speaking to earlier. "Good Lady," he says with a smile, "there is a boat being prepared for you as we dine; we were fortunate to have two boats stored and preserved in an unused crypt." The folk share their memories of how things once were, and their hopes of how things will be in the future, but I share only my gratitude for their kindness to me and my mate. I do not wish to burden them with my misgivings and my fears.....for if there is Renewal, will the Devourers not return? I know they must have thought of that already, for these are a wise people, and I have enough to worry about right now.

Our meal is over much too quickly; what little they have to share is delicious and the conversation warms my heart, but the concensus is that I should depart before dusk. I ask where I shall be going and little Muriel says, "the Prophesy tells the White Queen will go North, to Angentyr." I nod and take the last bite of my dried fruit, then ask, "and what does the Prophesy say I will do there?" Eglayne inclines her head slightly and replies, "what you are there to do. You will know when the time comes, what you are meant to do there." I would ask how I will know when I arrive at Angentyr, but I think I already know the answer. The meal and socializing done, I am gathered up by attendants and the Temple folk gather in the grand fountain chamber to see me off. My heart asks my Beloved how he will travel, and he tells me the wind will carry him wherever I go. "I do not wish to be alone," I think, and he tells me that I will not be, that someone has sent a gift to keep me company. "But I want to be with you," I whisper as I am escorted out of the Temple, and Sol says, "dearest, I believe you will like this gift." I say my farewells to all of the wonderful folk, and they give me their best wishes, then Eglayne leads me to the boat. She's a lovely little thing, with a very nice structure on the stern that resembles a small kupola so that I have shelter, and she's fairly well-laiden with goods for me. I recognize some of the things from Saysha's wagon, and I am deeply comforted to see them. The rest of the gifts are from the Temple folk, and I just can't imagine how any of them could spare anything, since they have so little. Ah, but then, knowing that they are helping someone makes their hearts light, and in that way they are rich. As my little boat is set on her way, I ask her if she has a name, but she does not answer; perhaps she has slept so long that she does not remember her name. Or maybe, I think, she does not have one, and I laugh. A boat with no name? I can't imagine that either. All boats and ships should have names.....

"I will call you Wayfarer," I say, and I hope she likes it. I know she is not like the Ships of my homeplace, but I sense she is not just simple wood, though I know that could be because of residual magick from being under the Temple for so very long. Well, whatever the case, I am grateful to have her, and the gifts as well, and my heart is free from worry. I think I will adjust the pillows from the little bed and the blanket too, relax a while, and then I notice a black bundle or something among the packs in front of me. I reach a hand out to it and I think maybe it is a robe or a blanket or something, but as my fingers are about to touch it, much to my shock, two glowing yellow eyes open and stare back at me. I pull back immediately and scootch up against the pillows, then the live thing moves. It stretches out and comes down from where it was curled, and once it is sitting in front of me, I realize it is a Cat, just as black as black can be, with those eerie glowing eyes. We gaze at each other for some time, until finally he says, "yes, Lady?"

The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and my skin feels tingly.....this is not the speech of my Catkin, nor even the melodic language of mortal cats, but full true speech, and I am slightly unsettled. "Who.....who are you?" My voice is hushed and his tail twiches when he answers. "I am Ganemere, Lady, sent to accompany." His voice is deep and has a quality that would suit a singer, a poet or a seducer, and I lean forward slightly, studying him closely. "You're no cat," I say, and the corner of his mouth curls up. "Perhaps not, Lady; I could be something else entirely, sent in the form of something you are comfortable with. Or perhaps I am a cat, a very lucky one indeed." I lean forward a little more and look him deep in his firey little eyes and ask him what he means. He half-shrugs and replies, "Lady, that cloth is very thin at this angle." After a second I realize where his gaze is set, and I sit bolt upright, full of an assortment of emotions. "You're a Devil, that's what you are!" I tell him that but I can't help feeling amused; he's like no other Cat I've ever known, so very irreverent. "No," he says, "though I might have been made by one." It dawns on me suddenly that he must be the gift which Sol spoke of, and I understand what he meant.

My tears come and Ganemere moves to me quickly, saying, "yes, Lady, He made me, together with your friends, and they filled me with everything I need to help you. You are loved, Lady, you are loved and missed." I gather him up and hold him close, and his purr is a great comfort to me, as is the knowledge that I am not really seperated from those I love.

[OnionGroove]

My light nap is happily disturbed by Ganemere's soft, rumbling purr in my ear. His weight on my chest is slight and his warmth soothing; his presence conjures memories of my Family and Kin, as well as other loved ones that I miss terribly. He nudges me just a little and puts his nose in my ear, making me giggle. "My Master told me you liked that," he says, and I put my forehead to his. "What else did your Master tell you?" He touches his nose to mine and tells me, "nothing that would embarrass you, Lady. At least, not very badly." He winks, then moves over so that I can sit up. I stretch and look for something to nibble on, saying, "I know I dropped my pack in the ruins when I found the strange portal. Who found my pack?" He watches me pick through bundles for a moment then answers, "CalicoJim did. You must have cut yourself on something there, for it was your blood that led her there. She and Azkaban tried to force the portal open to come after you. The portal had already shut down, however." I find what I'm looking for and ask him, "if the portal shut down, how did your Master send you to me?" He gingerly takes the small bit of pemmican I offer him and says, "Ny--er--my Master sent me through other means," and I gaze at him steadily. "He instructed me not to tell you how." He arches both a brow and his back, stretching, then says, "and I do not intend to disobey him." I give him another piece of pemmican and ask him if he fears his Master. "Let's just say I would rather not displease him, and leave it at that."

I wave to a man and a boy in a littte boat as they pass by. They laugh with great joy at the few fish they pull from the river, and I hear the man tell the boy that his grandmother will be making meals again like she once did, and I am glad. I see him pull a string of something from his tunic and kiss it, then throw it into the water. I ask him what it was, and he tells me, "prayer beads, Lady. To thank the River Goddess for coming home. Maybe she will make many fish, and our village may live again." They wave to me as they go on their way and wish me well, and I them, and after they pass, I have a sudden idea. I take out a small piece of pemmican and set it aside, then pull my father's blade from my boot. I portion out a long, thin strand of my hair and cut it, then replace my father's blade. Ganemere watches me curiously as I wrap the pemmican in my hair, whisper a prayer, then kiss the little bundle and throw it into the river. He chuckles and inclines his head. "That's funny.....a Goddess giving thanks to another Goddess," says he, and I tell him, "first, that happens more than you might think, and second, I am no Goddess. I'm just a woman, Ganemere, a woman blessed with special gifts." He chuckles again and moves to the bow of our little boat, then climbs up to a proper place to sit. "That's not how some others see you, though."

Sighing, I very, very carefully stand up, and discover that our "little" boat is much heartier than she appears. "People will see me however they wish, and call me what they like. Goddess, Holy Woman, Little Queen, or whatever else gives them comfort. But it does not make me so." "Ah," he says suddenly and squints at me, his tail twitching, "but you are the Daughter of Hakkon the Dragon, and you were a Queen." I am struck by his directness, and he shakes a paw at me. "You were more than Queen and it does not do for you to deny that!" I am speechless for a moment, and once I recover myself all I can do is ask him again who he is, because I am not so certain now. He draws himself up and takes a deep breath, then says, "I am Ganemere, Lady, sent by someone who cares about you, someone who went through a great deal to do so, to assist you in any way possible, through any means necessary, to insure your success and your safe return home." I sit back down under the kupola and he lays down in his spot, resting his chin on his paws. "Lady, I am sorry to be stern with you, but sometimes even good things can be.....not so good. Modesty can be admirable, but there are times when it can be insulting to others who.....who know you are better than that. And besides, I am certain the men you have loved believe you are a Goddess."

I let the comment slide, mostly because I don't know what to say in return. And he doesn't need to tell me that failure to assert myself in certain situations can be disasterous.....I have the scars to remind me of that. I want to ask him how he knows what he knows, but I won't push; I must not be so suspicious, and especially not of this 'gift'.




If anyone following this story would like to read (or re-read) the two that came before it, just click the link below my sig, and you can go to my RP forum. You do have to register, because it's just for Gothador folks, but it's free, and you can read as you like. If you do go, register with your Goth name, so I know it's you.

[OnionGroove]

I have lost track of time and can not say how many days have passed since I left the Dowager Temple; they've been filled with travelers on this crystal waterway, people greeting me with gifts of flowers and food, thanking me for bringing back Life to the land and their settlements. I don't know what to tell them except 'thank you'.....at first I wanted to discourage them, tell them I am not their Goddess, but Ganemere made me see the joy in their faces, and feel it in their hearts. "They need this, Lady," he said, "these are but mere moments in your life, but for them, it is their future. They have hope now, when before you arrived, they had none. For just these moments, Lady, be what they need you to be."

The nights are filled with music and singing, from where I know not, but it is sweet and weaves itself into my dreams. It conjures images of the world long past, before the rise of the Devourers and the corruption of the land. This night seems different somehow, as if something profound lay ahead of me, and as I settle to sleep in my little Wayfarer, with Ganemere nestled beside me and purring, I feel peaceful. My sleep is light and I hear the sound of paddles and hushed voices as boats pass us, and someone nearby says softly, "you see, even as she slumbers, she blesses us." I want to know what the speaker means, I want to see, but I will not intrude upon their happiness. Deeper sleep comes as we tread on, deeper sleep and deeper memories. But these memories are not entirely mine, I think, for there are images not familiar to me wrapped around my own recollections. A sea of flowers I've never seen before, tended by a smallish people with sunlit hair and grass-colored eyes; strange birds with iridescent feathers, their tails spreading out to form extraordinary multihued fans; great groves of trees whose fruit feeds hungry travelers, quenches even the most parching thirst, and revives the stricken; wispy Beings with luminous bodies and sparkling eyes, whose touch can heal virtually any wound. These elements of this world swirl in my mind and I find within them their counterparts in my own. There is comfort in that, and know that if I contemplate these similarities, my path here will be much clearer.

Ganemere wakes me in the early dawn with a gentle nip on my ear, and I am greeted by a beautiful mist hanging over the water. I drop my hand over the side and giggle as the fish come up to bump and nibble my fingers. They're just gorgeous, these fish, and I wonder how long their eggs had lain dormant before the water returned. One of them, a large silvery-pink one actually turns on its side and looks at me, and I am suddenly very sad that he might someday be caught.....and die. He lets me stroke him and I prick my finger on a spine of his dorsal fin. As I put my finger to my mouth he spouts water at me, and then disappears, and I feel a wave of relief. His kind are not eaten by the people who come here, not now, not ever in the past. They're sacred, and at one time there were small shrines all over this area where his kind were brought to live and were revered. "Lady," my Companion breaks the thread of Vision and I turn to find him gazing intently at me. I am about to reply to him when I see what he saw; land just ahead of us. In fact, it is the end of the waterway, and if we are to travel further, it will be on foot. I am uncertain as Wayfarer comes into the shallows; I am reluctant to leave her here unattended, especially so heavily laiden with our neccesities, but I suppose there may be some traveler that may need her, and them, more than I.

"Well, my dear Ganemere, I think we should collect what I can carry and continue on. It will be hot in a few hours, but I think we will make good time." I don't even know where we're going, and as I step out onto the shore, I have the sensation of.....something ominous on the horizon. I need to see if I can find a sign of where our destination lies, but even after I climb up the sandy bank, I see nothing. Just sand, as far as my eye can spy. Did we miss something? Did I misinterpret what I felt from Wayfarer? Oooh, this is not the time to be second-guessing myself, I know, but I am at a loss. Slowly making my way back to Ganemere and our boat, I am about to suggest to him that we sail back the way we came and look for something, and I nearly lose my ballance. I meet his smoldering gaze and his eyes widen as my stomach turns--the ground beneath me gives way and I am suddenly falling.....

[OnionGroove]

My fall ends in darkness.

I have no sense of anything, neither temperature, nor the surface upon which I've landed, nor pain. I find myself disconcerted and confused, and both conditions are deepened by the booming voice suddenly commanding my attention.

"Choose," the voice says, and I ask, "choose what?" The silence is punctuated by sounds of stone scraping stone, then, "your Mother or your Father. Choose."

I am struck by the question, but I give the only answer that I can. "My Father." I feel the reply before I hear it, and I am glad that I can not see my questioner. "How can you choose a man over she who bore you, who gave you Life?!?" I muster all the strength I have for my reply. "How can you berate me for choosing the parent I knew and can remember?" There is a chuckle in the darkness and a sigh. "Well said. And indeed, you are very much like your Father, Orgarune Hakkonsdatter." I am stunned, and for a moment, I am left totally dumbfounded. "Yesss," the voice hisses, "I know your name. I know all of your names." There is the sensation of movement near me, and a whisper, "even the ones you don't." Now I struggle to gather any available light to me so that I can see who is taunting me, but the effort is wasted. "Ah, so, you desire sight, little Dragon? The surprise may not be to your liking. Though," the voice taunts, "if you truly wish it, it shall be done."

A moment passes, perhaps two, then the veil of darkness is lifted from my eyes. I can not make sense of what I see; it seems I have fallen into some kind of cavern, and yet at second glance it is a palace, complete with all the ornate decorations one would expect to see in a grand Royal hall, then it is a cavern once again. I see no one in the cavern with me, but I feel I am being watched. There is no opening to the surface, not even where I fell through, so I can not--wait.....I fell! There must be an opening somewhere! The ceiling is so very high.....but if I fell that far, how is it that I am conscious? That taunting voice echoes off the cavern walls again, though the language this time is beyond my ken. I spin 'round to find my tormentor but find only a body.....

.....a smallish body, clad in robes, its white hair now stained red and caked with drying blood. "Od's Teeth," I whisper as I begin to understand. I didn't survive my fall.

Yet, here I stand somehow, my hands and arms wispy and transparent. I make to move toward my body, but suddenly the hand of my hostess is at my ethereal shoulder, and I know now that she bears me no ill-will. "No, Orgarune, that will not do, for your body no longer resides where it came to rest. Come," she says, "let me show you where you lay." The cavern disappears and is replaced by the palace walls I glimpsed, and I am awed by the beauty of the place. "Where am I?" My voice is breathy, and I giggle just for the sound of it. I look up into her fair face and find a kind of familiarity, a strange warmth in her pale, icy yellow eyes. "Somewhere safe," she says simply, then extends her hand toward a small altar in the corner of the empty chamber we've entered.

"Is this your palace?" She smirks at my question but answers without malice. "No, this is not of my creation; it's far too bright for my tastes. This place is called Shining Grandure, and is the work of him who holds watch over the Trembling Roadway. It is a sacred place, for special individuals." We face each other on opposite sides of the altar and she says, "this chamber is your tomb, if you wish it." I look down at the silvery cloth that covers my body, and marvel at the golden Dragons embroidered by a masterful hand. I marvel, then turn away for a moment, as if I think that will help me deal with the realization that I know what hand made the cloth. I turn back to it, choking back whatever tears might come to me in this form, and lift a wispy finger to trace the dancing figures. "My Mother made this shroud," I whisper, and my hostess replies, "indeed, she did, in anticipation of your arrival."

I stroke the silky-smooth cloth and shake my head. "How can that be?" My hostess touches my chin and lifts my gaze to her. "Oroleen is here. She has been since the moment she let go her fleshy shell. Well, ok," she shrugs, "perhaps not at that exact moment; she did linger long enough to see you be swaddled and placed in Hakkon's arms." I pull away and glare up at her. "This is a deception," I growl and she laughs at my anger, then tells me, "such a thing would be a needless waste of time, and I would never hear the end of it. Besides," she half-grins, "you and I are Sisters, of a sort." Eyeing her carefully I ask her what she means. "I am loathe to speak those words here, in this place of Light and Peace, so I will tell you this instead. I said that this place is called Shining Grandure; it was built by Heimdall himself, and in it resides many beloved in the hearts of those who once shunned me. Your Mother and Father both are here, as are numerous Kith and Kin of yours, some of whom you've never met. And even those perhaps better suited to somewhere a little.....hotter."

"You mean, my Devil kin?" I am nearly giddy with the idea of it, and she nods slightly. "You can see them, if you wish." She slowly pulls back my shroud and I look down at my body, made pristine, no doubt by the Magick of this place. "You need only reclaim your flesh here, in this Hall, and you will reside with your loved ones until the stars themselves blink out." I brush the hair out of my own face and caress my cold cheek, noting how much I resemble my Father, and how my Mother's delecate Elfin features blended with his. "They made a beautiful child," whispers a voice from behind me and I want to turn and look, but a loving hand stays me. I don't need to see to know who speaks, for my Grandmother's voice is precious to my ears. "It is not right to tempt her so, Dark Daughter, and I do not think the Allfather will care much for it." My hostess frowns slightly and replies, "think what you will! I am not tempting her, I am merely giving her a choice. Though.....you're right, He won't." She folds her arms and turns slightly, then mumbles, "you take all the fun out of it, Aud."

My Grandmother laughs softly and hugs me tightly to her without letting me see her. "Now then my darling dear, she is right, you do have a choice. But I think in your heart you know what is right. Yes, dear Ogee, we do want you with us, but that time is far in the future." My head hangs and I sigh heavily, and I am held up only by her embrace. "Because others depend on me....." Aud hugs me again and says, "yes, but you need to live for yourself, Ogee. For yourself and the Devil that loves you, he worked so hard and gave so much of himself to be with you again. It would be terrible to leave Sol like this, after all he has done and when you have so much ahead of you." She kisses the crown of my head and whispers, "don't cheat him, and don't cheat yourself." For another blissful moment she holds me, then releases me and draws away. "Tempt her not with our nearness, Dark Daughter, and tarry here no longer. Get on with what must be done."

My hostess bites her lip and nods, and as she leads me out of the great shimmering hall I hear my Grandmother's voice one last time. "Go with our Graces, Ogee, go with our Love."

[OnionGroove]

As soon as we pass through a rippling wall, I realize fully the depth of my situation. All around me now is the dankness of a long-forgotten crypt, the gloom of a forsaken sepulcher. Everywhere are the remains of what I think might have once been a grand hall, but, I suspect it was made this way. What at first appears to be assembled haphazardly shows pattern and intent upon closer examination. Even the bones, some long devoid of flesh and others not, seem strewn about, yet I know their placement has meaning. I am careful not to disturb them as I make my way over the jagged, rough terrain. Slime coats some of the walls and surfaces, and an unnatural cold permeates every fiber of my ethereal Being. It seems that no flower blooms here, no bird sings and that this place is more hopeless than even Macha's abode. But I am wrong.

There are birds here, skeletal ones, nestled in the nooks and crannies of this place; their dead gazes anything but empty as they settle on me. Here and there grows a strange flower, tall and slender, its color a dark purple, like a bruise.

"This," my hostess proclaims, her arms outstretched, "is Eljudnir, my home!" As her perfect beauty melts away she tells me, "I am Hel, daughter of the blackhearted giant Loki, the Trickster, who thinks once and speaks twice, if you know what I mean." I am bombarded by alien sensations, as though a thousand fingers seek purchase upon me, to pull me to wherever their owners reside. "The Aesir and Vanir hated my father, and with good reason, for he had caused them more than his fair share of grief and loss, certainly far more than he could ever repay." As she speaks I hear the squeak and chirrup of things in the darkness and while I am afraid, I stay as close to her as I dare. "When the Aesir discovered my brothers and I, the Norns decreed that no good would come of us, and we were delt with harshly. Óðin, the Allfather, in his wisdom, cast me here, for which I am eternally grateful." I see her now as she truly is; her face and upper body are like that of a living woman, her blouse is nearly as beautiful as my shroud had been, and though her eyes are of the serpentine kind she looks no different than any of the Humans who lived with my Family. At her waist her flesh darkens in hue and just above the hem of her black skirt of tattered cloth, I can see where she is rotted and decayed, as though she were a walking corpse. Was she born like that, I wonder? Half alive and half dead, or did it happen when she was cast into this place?

"I am my own Soverign; no male has power here." I step back from her and close my eyes.....I understand now what she meant, when she said we were 'Sisters of a sort'. "You are a Goddess of Death, a Keeper of the Dead." She nods and grins widely, taking a step toward me. "Yes, yes I am, little Dragon, though I am but one of many. We are Legion, a sacred Sisterhood, Goddesses of Death and caretakers of The Dead; our number spans throughout the wide Cosmos, and you may be welcome among Us in a few centuries, should you survive that long." Something occurs to me that hasn't before, and I meet Hel's eerie gaze directly. "I've already died once, before I stepped into Gothador. How is this possible? How is this not a delusion of some sort, maybe I am laying in the cavern imagining it all? How could I have died again?" For a moment she just stares at me, then her expression becomes one of disbelief, and to my chagrin, she laughs at me. "Did you just hear yourself, Orgarune?" Her laughter echoes through her ruined hall, and as it begins to fade I realize my stumbling point. "Ah, uh.....yeah....." Rubbing my head I cover my face and have a laugh on myself. If I were lying in the cavern unconscious, I wouldn't know I was laying in the cavern, unconscious.

I would likely imagine I were home.

At least, I think I would think I was.

"But wait....." I start off again but she stops me with a gentle pat on my shoulder. "You do have a valid question though." I smile and nod, glad that I'm not totally lost, and she proceeds to explain. "Now, when you died and rose the first time, on your homeworld, you became what some Humans like to call a Necromancer. Actually, they like to call it a variety of things, mostly with derogatory meaning, because they do not understand. Even Necromancer isn't the correct term, but it's the best one most mortals have, and really there's nothing wrong with it.....and Necromancy is a nice little hobby, after all. Now that I think of it," Hel muses, "some of Us did start out as dabblers in that craft. Anyway," she says, waving her hands a little and making me giggle, "that's not important right now. What is important," a shuffling sound behind us distracts me for a moment, but I see nothing of interest in the shadows. "What is important," she says again, "is that you are far more important than you can imagine. You've been told this many times and refuse to accept it. And here's the thing....."

She gestures for me to follow her as she continues, leading me into the part of her hall that still stands. Glancing upward she says, "all Gods, all Divinities, no matter how well-meaning or beneficent, have an Agenda. Sometimes those Agendas synch up, you know, the Divinities want the same thing, and more often than not, those things are good. And usually, in fact, very nearly always, the players involved in a God's Agenda don't even realize they're Agents in some God's Agenda. But then, you know that much already." She looks back at me and waits for me to catch up to her before going on. "You have no idea how many Gods have you in their Agendas," she lifts my gaze to her and holds my attention for a long moment, as if attempting to impart something of incredible depth to me, then releases me without a word. She chuckles as we enter what might have once been a grand feasting chamber and says, "sometimes even Gods are the Agents of other Gods, and never suspect it."

Oh, I know that quite well also, but I don't need to tell her that.

"What's your Agenda?" I ask and the question seems to hang in the air.....she sighs deeply and tells me that it's naught for me to be concerned about now, that there are other things far more important at hand. "You wanted to know how you could have died again. The answer is simple and whether you want to accept it or not, it's the truth. You, my dear, are a Gwylfin. Gwylfins are exceedingly rare; at this very moment, in all the Cosmos, there are only five, and you are the only female, which makes you even more powerful. A Gwylfin is a nearly autonomous Being, that is, in control of whether or not their deaths are permanent. Providing, of course, their Soul can reclaim their fleshy shell before the heart decays, for it is the heart that anchors the Soul to the body. They alone decide the length of their lives. When you were slain in battle, you willed yourself to rise after they had built the cairn around you. Do you remember?" I suddenly feel.....uncomfortable, and as I take a step back she reaches for me. "Do you remember pushing the stones off of your grave?" My chest is tight, I feel light-headed, and I both hear and feel Hel's voice when she shouts at me to remember. She tells me I have to remember, that the key to the Gwylfin's survival is Memory and Will, and for the briefest of moments, I am not here.

For a minute of bliss, I am a new-born, in my Mother's arms. She kisses me and whispers, "Orgarune, remember....." Breath escapes her and she releases me, and I am floating free.

I hear weeping, sobbing, all round me as if I am enveloped in sorrow and Hel is before me, shouting at me to remember rising from my grave. The sorrowful sounds come from behind me and I turn to see four figures, hooded and robed with tattered black cloth, carrying what is clearly a body on a litter. One of the four is the weeper, and before Hel can stop me I lunge toward them, and as she shouts to me that I'm not ready to see I grab the soiled white shroud off of my corpse. The shock of seeing the horrific extent of the injuries that killed me is almost more than I can bear.....and then with a sudden jolt, it's even worse.

I am no longer Spirit and Being only; I am flesh as well once more. There is peace for a second, then the weeping brings my attention back to the Now. "No no no," the weeper sobs strangely, as if his mouth is covered, "be not dead, not dead, be not dead....." Searing pain rips though me as my dead chest expands to accomodate the renewed Flame of Life; my heart roars, my lungs suck in a ragged breath, and as I force myself to look down at what there is of me, I scream. I want to close my eyes, but I can't shut my lids and after a moment I realize my right eye was pushed out of its socket by the force of impact, and that's why my vision is so skewed. Bones are shattered, my skin is shredded, muscles are ripped and nerves are exposed. Great Goddess that's even worse than the reality of all of this, the exposed nerves.....my arms, bent now at strange angles, flail about while my legs twitch. I writhe in agony, and the writhing causes the nerves to grate against the litter I'm on, which generates even more agony. ".....you need to live for yourself, Ogee. For yourself and the Devil that loves you, he worked so hard and gave so much of himself to be with you again," my Grandmother had told me, and I think of my Beloved. So much we've been through, how can I leave him? How can I leave myself to Death, knowing he's grieving and alone.....?

[OnionGroove]

I hear birds singing, sweet little birds, I think Azkaban calls them finches.....she loves birds more than any other creature; she says they are the most innocent of all. I don't understand but, she says, "even a cat can have malice in his heart, but not a bird." A bird is like love, with feathers, she says. I want to see them, I want to see where I am, but I have only darkness about me. I call out to my Benefactress and I feel her touch before the sound of my voice fades. "I can't see the songbirds, Hel, what kind are they?" I feel her hand on mine and she tells me, "there are no birds here, little Goddess, not, at least, the kind that sing." I feel my brows knit and I tell her that I can hear them, and she squeezes my hand. "Orgarune, you have had a terrible shock; you've fallen and died, and discovered why you exist still. You've witnessed your injuries and experienced your renewal. Your body is adjusting to all of this, and to the changes that were necessary. I think your mind is simply settling on something that gives you comfort during this time."

I feel a hard surface beneath me, and a very soft blanket between me and it, and I feel the gentle tickle of air currents against me. I run my hands over my body and everything feels right.....right, but somehow different. My skin reacts to my touch, and I find it is softer than it has ever been before. Oh, I want to see what I look like now, repaired and healed, but there is only darkness. Hel said there were necessary changes, and I want to see them.....she takes my hands and holds them together between hers, and for the first time I have the sightest taste of the true power she has. "Hel, why can't I see?" Still holding my hands she says softly, "Ogee, I.....I couldn't save your right eye; the damage to it was far too severe. I had to improvise." I laugh but my voice suddenly doesn't sound like mine. "What do you mean, improvise? What did you do?" I feel her touch my fingertips to her lips and she says, "you realize I am holding your hands flat between mine," and it escapes me for a second or two. But....."my ring! My ring! The orb of Sacred Water that Saysha gave me--!" She hushes me tenderly and tells me that the Crystal Orb is a living thing, and that I was already one with the Sacred Water, and that the Orb gave itself readily into the empty socket as if it had always known that was what it was going to do. She says, "before my Attendants and I had even finished the Healing Chant, the Orb was already adjusting itself to see."

She releases my hands and says, "your brain needs time to rewire itself and adapt to a new kind of Sight." I reach up carefully and touch the soft cloth that protects my eyes, and sigh deeply. "What else did you have to do?" I feel the change in temperature near me as she rises and moves away. "Some of your bones were shattered. They could not repair themselves and We could not knit them back together, so I replaced them." I run my hands over my body and bite my lip. "You mean, I have someone else's bones?" The cool air against me is disrupted by the hint of a cat nearby, and Hel replies, "let this be the final proof to you that you are loved." There is the whisper of a purr in my ear and she says, "when my Attendants went out to ask for help, your own relatives who gave up their Flesh long ago gladly offered up their last remaining bones and bits so that you could be Whole again. Not one hesitated, not even the smallest."

I cover my face and force myself not to weep, and she tells me she will leave me in peace for a while, so that I may become reacquainted with myself. "But," I protest weekly, "I don't want to be alone." I feel the hint of other forms near me and she says softly, "you are never alone, Little Goddess. Never forget that."

She goes from me then and I am left to let my body tell me who I am.....