I apologize to all, especially Pacobell/Edward. The facts are :-
In sept 2011 I was informed my cancer (which Id already been fighting for about 6- yrs and which was quite advanced when found) had turned VERY aggressive. My hormone treatment was no longer effective (prostate cancer needs testosterone, so for past 2-3 yrs Id had female hormones to nuke it, effectively chemical castration). I asked how long, and was informed STATISTICALLY 2 yrs.
I recently asked my home nurse how I was doing, did I look like a typical patient with 5 months left and she said she reckons I'm beating the odds. OF COURSE one must remember that these treatments themselves take a massive toll, so I could drop dead tomorrow ( had a slight heart attack 3 yrs back, Angina, pulse topping 210 at times, 180+ is VERY DANGEROUS) .
Put simply it all boils down to a few things :-
1/ You'd be amazed how busy you can be when you know your dying
2/ Hospital visits, almost every week and sometimes 3 or 4 days in a week, went today or emergency check - 8-12 days constipated, enemas don't work.
3/ BLODDY cold in the comp room, and as my general status is bad, it seems worse. In fact we have had a shocking and long winter.
4/ APATHY - no surprise there.
5/ Worsening of my depression (no surprise again) which was not helped when my brother died 2.5-5 yrs back, and further not helped when, on going to the UK for a 1 week visit in spring, my sister said I couldn't stay at there house. She was worried I'd mess-up her furniture and bed with my catheter.
6/ Ive had a bad back since I was 13, I have frequent "episodes" of problems, from a week or 2 to 9 months physio. 3 yrs back I had a SERIOUS hernia. Eventually we thought it had cured. Last summer it cam back with a roar oh sorry, that was me on a morning for 2-3 hrs after getting up screaming in pain). A new scan showed it was now a double hernia with 3 displaced vertebrae. Doc said that situation an Op was VERY risky, then I started falling over with 2-3 seconds paralysis on left leg. Well, after having head butted 3 brick walls and 2 doors, I decided action was vital. I had Micro-neuro surgery last November. Main pain curred, but there is evidently nerve death, my left leg is now too weak to lead on stairs. in last 3-4 weeks my back has begun to hurt again, bad enough for me to use morphine at night. I just hop its not a 3rd disc gone.
7/ ALSO in the news. I have diabetes myelitis, type 2 that is. HYPO (under) active thyroid. and a slight Abdominal Aortic aneurysm.