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[Kayla]

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!! Pluease don't eat me!"

"Karamazov..."

"I wont taste good you know, all skin and bones any way and blue! I mean, whoever heard of a blue elf... with a tale...!"

"Karamzov..."

"Yes?"

"I'm not going to eat you." Krum pulled back the hood of his oversized cloak, the label of which said 'made in the Frozen North' and had taken the hides of 1000 mad cows and 5 gallons of black dye to make... it was a big cloak...

"Oh," Karamzov replied. He coughed and let go of the poker, "Of course I knew it was you all along, hee hee, I was just playing up the moment. Drama of the situation and all that."

"Yeah right," Krum said. And with that the pair climbed over the unconcious bodies of a dire yeti and three frost horrors, who had not enjoyed the offered dessert afterall, and went out into the blizzard.

[Kayla]

The snow storm attacked the frozen wasteland with ferocity, threatening to freeze any fool who wandered admist it's howling winds then bury them beneath a pile of snow. Three such ones had found themselves stuck in the treacherous weather, four if you counted the not so gallant steed of one. The rider shivered despite the mountain of furs about his slender frame. "I told you it would be cold," sniffed the overgrown cockerel steed.

"Shut up," Braelynd tried to say, though it sounded more like; "Shmmma ughm!"

Elsewhere there was a soft thud as the huge transcendant form that was Krum fell straight and forwaed into a mound of snow. "N-not n-now Krum!" stuttered Karamazov, who had been wondering whether his skin would be blue out here if it was not blue already. The elf shuffled over to Krum and attempted one last time to 'port back to the shelter. He sneezed. It was no good, he just couldn't do it. With a groan he collapsed on top of Krum's back.

"...Karamazov..." he heard suddenly in his head.

"M-m-m-mas-s-ter?" he murmured.

"...Karamazov... find... Swamp witch... Darkwater... great gnome master... teach you... learn..." the voice, as distant and broken as it sounded, seemed to be his Masters, Mamori. Karamazov vowed to seek the Swamp Witch of Darkwater just as soon as he regained conciousness.

With timing that couldn't have been better if a director had yelled 'cut', set up the new scene and then cried 'action!', a mounted Braelynd appeared. He dismounted and attempted to contact the rebel base, though he knew no help would be sent til the snow storm had passed over.

The Cockerel sighed audibly. "See I told you, I'm near to death from hypothermia and when I finally close my eyes upon this ungodly wasteland, you'll use my innards as a thermal blanket. Thanks for that!" And with that the Cockerel died.

Braelynd considered the creatures last words. Then he shrugged and proceeded with the dissection. Well it had been a good idea, he might as well use it...

[Kayla]

In all fairness to Mamori, it has to be noted that at this time, he was quite some way away from the Frozen Wasteland and had no idea what was happening to his young student, nor that he had just altered the course of Karamazov's path forever.

He was in a secret hideaway enjoying light conversation with his beloved Valamelmeo.

It began with a nibbled ear.

"What's that?" Vala asked poking with a slender finger the strange bead-earring in Mamori's left ear.

"Oh that." He touched it, accidently activating it. "That's something S made so that I could stay in touch with Karamazov."

"Why?"

"Karamazov is my student. It's not all that good over long distances though."

Vala shrugged, then perked up as she recalled something. "Oh yeah, look what I found!" she pulled out a mysterious potion bottle that she had obtained a couple of years ago. A red heart was etched into the glass. She began to purr wickedly.

"Where did you find that?"

"Got it in Darkwater."

"Off of the Swamp Witch of Darkwater?" Vala nodded. "She's a great gnome master, you know."

"Yeah, whatever," her eyes rolled heavenward.

Mamori glanced back over the potion and grinned. "Naughty girl," he chuckled. "I'll have to teach you a lesson for this."

"Really?" snickered Valamelmeo.

"Yes, come here and learn..."

The earring got broken very shortly after that, meaning Karamazov never figured out he had been eavesdropping by mistake and Mamori never figured out why Karamazov had though it would be a good idea to go to Darkwater...

[Kayla]

Due to the recent interlude due to sheer laziness on the authors part, it was decided to skip ahead a few scenes... however to bring you, the reader, up to date from the last scene to the new scene, here's Iaganatzi with some flashcards...



Iaganatzi (high voice) - We've lost contact with a probe in the Frozen Wasteland!

Iaganatzi (low voice) - The rebel base is there! Let's go and annihalate them!

Iaganatzi(high voice) - Aw can't we have our coffee break first?

Iaganatzi(low voice) - ........ No.



Iaganatzi - AAAARRRGGHHH! We've been probed! Start the Evacuation! The Imperials are coming! The Imperials are coming!



Iaganatzi - Good Guys....



Iaganatzi - Bad Guys....



Iaganatzi - Run away! Run away!



Iaganatzi(really deep voice) - Me Braelynd, You Roxatha! You come with me!



Iaganatzi - Roar...



Iaganatzi - Rebels AWAY!



Iaganatzi(Deep Voice) - Anyone for Nacho's?

[Kayla]

"Where are we going again?"

It was one of many questions that Krum had asked himself over and over in his head, but he was not the one to voice it.

"Darkwater Swamps," Karamazov told Iaganatzi... again.

"Why?"

"To meet with the Swamp Witch for more training in the way of the G-nome Master." Krum wondered if Karamazov didn't sound annoyed because the constant questioning really didn't bother him or because it gave him an excuse to enjoy more the sound of his own voice.

"Why?"

"Because my Master advised me too." The same Master who was currently halfway across the Ethereal void in an undisclosed location for undisclosed reasons.

"Why?"

"Because the Master wishes for me to further my training and become a great G-nome Master, of course." Of course.

"Why?"

"I'm certain he can see the most excellent untapped potential in me in this field of expertise." There was the usual pause.

"I wanna go home."

Krum finally had a question of his own he wished answered. "Why is he here again?" Karamazov, however, did not have an answer to this one. It seemed Iaganatzi had managed to stow away aboard their ship during the evacuation when he should have been aboard one heading for the rendevous point to meet with the remainder of the rebels.

The journey to Darkwater did not take long. The S-mobile entered the thick fog field that surrounded it within half an hour of their flight from the Frozen Wasteland. The fog was like a murky soup emparring their vision and making finding a place to land impossible. Which was why they crashed.

"Where are we going again?"

[Kayla]

(post 2)

Darkwater was different.

Krum swallowed the rising concern in his throat. The swampfog hung over their heads omniously, making it impossible to gain their barings and figure out where they were and where they should be going. However this did not concern Krum as this was not something that had changed in this alternative universe. It was the miles of burning swamp gas and flame ridden trees that was slowly sending Krum into pure unadulterated panic. Fire! It was everywhere! Consuming everything! It spewed unimaginable heat from every flicker, burning the air, burning the ground and it was nearing him, threatening him, threatening to consume him.

A sudden weight upon his shoulders distracted him from his fear for a moment, and darkwater seemed its dark, dank usual self for a second before the flames returned. Krum looked up to see Karamazov upon his shoulders quaking like a leaf. "It's horrible!" he shrieked. "Make it stop!"

Movement caught in the corner of Krum's vision offered another distraction and sent the fires away again for a second, making Krum begin to question what he saw... but he could feel the heat of the flames and the dryness of the air, there was no question... was there? He looked towards the fields of fire, expecting Iaganatzi, but the omnilord and his floating chair were nowhere to be seen. Instead there was a voice;

"Follow me, yes," said the voice in whispering tones. "Stop the visions we shall, yes, hmmmm." Krum pushed against the barriers of his fear as Karamazov continued to sob and walked into the flames towards the voice.

"NooooooooooO!!" cried Karamazov. "Not that way! They are there! Make them goooooo! Make them stop! They're dancing!! Wahhhhhh!!"

Finally, despite almost be deprived of oxygen not by a mass of blazing flames, but a panic striken blue elf who had a death hold about his neck with that unexplained tail, Krum found himself in a small dark hut, which was made even smaller by his huge presence. He also found himself with company.

[Kayla]

Karamazov knew that something was wrong from the moment that he stepped out of the S-mobile. For one thing, the murky cesspit of festering bogs and mishappen trees that was Darkwater was not what he saw. And for some reason his sense's were telling him that he was actually in the Lair of Decay, but this was no Lair of Decay that he'd ever hunted in.

He felt a similiar heat that Krum did, but it did not come from neverending furious flames, but from a huge yellow sun, a huge yellow sun with a face in it, a cute bubbley baby face. He shuddered.

The sky was a clear blue with fluffy looking clouds hovering in neat patches with it. The landscape was of rolling hills with perfectly green, perfectly manicured grass speckled with bright red and bright yellow flowers. And coming towards him, skipping towards him were... were...

He 'ported onto Krum's shoulders, away from THEM. "It's horrible! Make it stop!" Krum turned towards THEM and worse, began walking towards them, those awful chubby, cheerful cretins, those TELETUBBIES! "NooooooO!! No not that way! They are there! Make them goooooo! Make them stop! They're dancing!! Wahhhhh!!"

And suddenly, they were not there anymore, instead there was a strange, figure in a tatty cloak. "Greetings, Ugly am I."

"You said it," muttered Karamazov, but still it was better than Teletubbies.

"Misunderstanding are you, I am Uglykidjoe in full," he said, sweeping back the hood of his cloak. "Apprentice of the Swamp Witch am I, yes."

"Swamp Witch?" Karamazov cheered up. "Where is she? I need to speak with her! My Master sent me here to learn from her!"

Joe looked them both up and down with his beady dark eyes. "Take you, then, shall I, to her." He floated over to the door. Spirits, Karamazov thought critically, what was up with them and walking? He 'ported off of Krum's shoulder to the ground.

"Wait, we can't go out there!" Karamazov exclaimed. "It's not right!"

"Ah," Joe nodded in understanding. "See your greatest fear do you. Fear is in the mists."

"There are no mists out there," the blue elf cried. "Just, gulp, Teletubbies!" Krum and Joe glanced at eachother.

"The mists warp into your greatest fear, challenging it is, to face them and see beyond them, yes."

"What do you see?" asked Krum. He had been in fear of fire for a long time, ever since the great fire that had destroyed his first home as a boy...

Joe paused for a moment. No one had ever thought to ask him that before, not even the Witch. "I see," he said, "I see Vass, dearest to me, with the last crate of beer, yes she is holding and worse she is giving it not to me, no, to a Trogolodyte, at me it is leering, yes indeed." With that Joe walked out into the true fear he faced everyday without respite... until now.

[Kayla]

"It's a grave," Karamazov pointed to the grim tombstone leaning to one side having sunk slightly in the dark mud. Indeed it was a grave.

"Yes, surely, hmmm" Joe mumbled as he hitched up his cloak and turned to leave. "Nice meeting you!"

"Wait!" Karamazov cried! Without Joe there, they would come back! "Where's the Swamp Witch? You haven't taken us to see her yet!"

Joe glared at Karamazov. "Fulfilled request, yes have I. Going now am I."

"But..."

Krum nudged Karamazov, a little too firmly judging by the way the blue elf hurtled into a tree, which alas he then panicked over seeing not grey bark and mottled leaves but rather a huge purple creature with huge eyes and big grin. Before he could apologise, Karamazov sped off into the mists screaming. Krum sighed.

The fires surrounding the transcendent had become translucent over time, still there, reminding him of their fierce heat and hungry flames, but more as a memory would rather than the reality. He turned to UglyKidJoe, who had not wandered off so far as Krum expected. "Please," Krum called out to Joe. "Train him?"

Joe paused and looked at Krum. "Meet you, shall I at the home. Only then shall training begin." Krum bowed slightly in thanks, before wandering into the mists to locate the missing elf.

[Kayla]

"Iaganatzi!?" Mojawk was feeling concerned. His concerns didn't really rise from the fact that he had not seen Iaganatzi since the evacuation from the Frozen Wastelands, nor that no one else had for that matter. No, his concerns were because Iaganatzi was currently in possession of his favorite rare pokemon card, Charizard and he needed it!

Mojawk sighed, reluctant to face the inevitable, aka a moody polar bear who wouldn't think a rematch could wait until Mojawk's deck was set up just the way the omnilord liked it.

Elsewhere, an arguement was developing...

"Well no one said that you needed to take us through Thor's Grip to escape the Empire," Roxatha stated, loudly.

"Well no one said that I had to rescue you from being buried alive in the rebel base either," Braelynd retorted... equally as loud.

"I would have gotten out fine without your help," Roxatha turned her back on the elf and returned to examining the damage the ship had suffered due to a massive lightning burst.

Braelynd made her turn back to face him. "Fine, I'll drop you back there shall I?"

"Don't be a fool, the Imperials would capture us and your wreck of a ship for sure," the winged woman said.

"I am no fool," the elf replied.

"Roar!" rough translation, Have you seen Mojawk, he owes me a game and if he doesn't show up soon, I'm gonna rip his arms off!

"No!" Both yelled back.

"Roar!" rough translation, Gees I was only asking! I'll leave you to kiss and make up now shall I? Damned humanoids, I should rip off all their arms....

[Kayla]

The training was not going well, in Karamazov's humble opinion, for many reasons...

The foremost being, that it was not him being trained.

"Why not?!" Karamazov had complained, after having being chased by the Noo Noo right into Joe's homely home, then realising that it hadn't been the Noo Noo after all it had been Krum, who was about to find out, with Karamazov, that he was to become Joe's apprentice! Not Karamazov!

"Master for you is not needed, a Master you have." came Joe's jumbled reply.

"But it was Mamori who told me to come here!"

"To find Swamp Witch, yes, which you have. Train you, alas she cannot. Train you, I will not. But training will be had, by him." Joe had pointed to Krum, who had been even more silent than usual since finding out that Joe wished to train him in this weird G-nomish way everyone kept talking about.

Karamazov had chosen not to reply, instead he had chosen to sulk.... for five seconds or so before wandering off looking for something to kill.

The Blue Mage had returned shortly after finding nothing to kill and too much cutesy sunshine for his liking to watch Krum's training.

Which was not going well in his opinion.

Krum just simply wasn't interested in being a student.

"I will not do it."

"Yes you will!" Uglykidjoe replied. "If not, the way of the g-nome will remain ever closed to you."

"And?"

"I see much strength in you," Joe said, "a Knight, yes? A G-nome Knight no. But you will be, yes. Yet vunerable to the dark side. Train now and safe you might yet be."

"Will it help me get home?" Krum asked quietly.

"Perhaps," Joe replied. "Perhaps not."

With a sigh, Krum put the bright red g-nome hat on his head, fake beard on his face and held the fishing rod of light in his left hand. "What now?"

"Now?" Joe answered. "Now, I laugh."